Otherkin and other lives

I know I let this blog go quiet again for a bit. I promise it isn't due to my forgetting about you all, but recent drama. However my blog today won't be as much my drama, but an exploration of my identity.

I an Otherkin, and I know that explanations of what that does and does not mean are all over the place. In essence, if you break the word down, it really indicates that we are kin of, or family of something other than human. However exactly how this works is something we don't completely understand or agree on. Suffice it to say, I can only fully explain how I see myself as an Otherkin woman, but I will do my best to explain all the aspects I know about.

To briefly explain what I am, I see myself as elven. Now, please understand that when I look in a mirror this life, I see a human woman staring back, I am in no way unaware of what I am living as this life. However, I feel my soul, and the core of who I am is something completely different. To me, my identity as an elf.gives me a lot of comfort, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't proud of it. Pride seems to be something all elves have in abundance, and it has lead to some.disasters in many of the various elven cultures.

   To me, the single most important aspect of Otherkin comes from how the community at large has shortened the word. Rather than focus on the other aspect, calling ourselves 'others', we focused on the family and social aspect, shortening the word Otherkin to 'kin. To me, this makes us feel more open and friendly, though all communities their embarrassments. The main two ways that we explain and understand our 'kin identities is either a spiritual belief or a psychological phenomenon. The psychological phenomenon is slightly more popular among those who's kin types are mom-human earth based creatures, such as wolves, ravens and bears. They seem, to me at least, much more likely to see their identity as an aspect of neurology this life, rather than an aspect of their soul. I do not completely understand how it could be only that, but I see my 'kin nature as being of spiritual origin.

    Other 'kin see their identity as coming from spiritual origins, such as past lives, or simply being an other being/creature living in a human body. I know a lot of 'kin, myself included, who see ourselves this way have 'kin types that are normally considered to be fantasy, such as elves, mer, dragons and celestials. This can create problems, as we see ourselves as fundamentally other, and it can lead to extreme loneliness, or our pride getting the better of us. We can see ourselves as better, when what we are is simply different.

Despite the many differences and diversity in the Otherkin community, it seems to come down to our a question of identity. It is how we answer the question, 'who am I' and 'what am I'. We all realize that it is extremely unorthodox to admit, even to.ourselves in the dead of night that we don't feel completely human, but being able to embrace and accept that fundamental difference in ourselves, even as just a neurologic construct is the first step to being happy with who.and what we are and being able to grow there.

Memories

Tonight I was feeling a bit off, and decided to.check out my Tarot card set. She must be angry with me, about being ignored for so long, but as I flipped through I thought of the woman who have it to me.

In a sense, she is my sister and my exact posit. Her name, is Ryu, and yes we are both perfectly aware that is traditionally a make name, not that she ever cared. Ryu never we really approved of the few men I dated, and absolutely abhors my husband to the point that she cut all ties with me. I never even had it in me to tell her that she was going to be an auntie to my child, not that it maters with her no longer in my life.

All of this makes me think of the winding path I have taken to understand myself, and where I belong. Even, and probably especially after discovering Otherkin, and the fact I truly did have the right to detour from the spiritual path of my family I went through a lot of changes. Trying to redefine myself, who and what family was and means to me have lead me through a few social groups, and soap opera worthy misadventures, but it all leads to now.

I feel that the most important thing for me to do at this juncture in my life is to learn how to let go of poisonous relationships and balance who and what I an with the responsibilities of this life. Honestly I still feel very young, despite the fact that most consider me to be 'older'. I have a lot of living and loving to do, and no small amount of learning. Hopefully this misadventure will turn out well.

In any case, I will see you all about later,
Bb and ttyl,
Shilo

Energy Flows

Hi all, I know I mentioned that I do a little.bit of energy work last post. I also mentioned I work with it a little differently than most. I know I need practice and study, up all day with my baby and work leaves very little time for such nice things. I know so little, and do the few things I do based on feeling and a bit of computer code. Despite how inorganic this sounds, my energy has mostly been described to me as feeling like water by those who interact with it. Just as a precursor, I am not trying to imply I have some amazing power that passes into the tell of fantasy. Just a spiritual path that I am working on.

I organize my energy similar to computer code, or at least that's how I see it so I can better understand what I am doing. The flows present themselves as a language, written mostly, as my sight on astral, and other spiritual realms is very bad. I might as well be blind walking around with a cane. It also works in flows, often feeling like water, but with a distinct 'signature' for each person.

Energy signatures, they are the main reason I know I need to practice. An energy signature will contain basically everything I need to know about the person or place I am with or around. I often use it when I alter my signature to try to calm people, or to try to avoid conflict. It also helps me on the few occasions when I have done energy work for friends and with them. At it's core, energy signatures are simply a way of identifying people, places, and for me keeping ideas strait.

When working with flows, I sense it as a language and am able to write in it. I am not quite sure how to properly describe the process save that I focus on the signature and the flow, and concentrate on inserting the flows.and energies needed to accomplish whatever goal I had in mind. These flows also have a method that allows feedback that allows me to monitor the flows and gives me control.

The last, and most important part of the energy flows for me, is the ability to monitor my progress with my work. It gives instant feedback so I can learn in real time what does and doesn't work. Seeing what I am doing in real time keeps me on my toes and keeps life interesting.

These energy works are far from perfect, and I know I need work in both the spiritual and practical aspects. It is a fairly unorthodox method of working with flows, but for me, it works. I'll be about and hope to see you all later.
Bb and ttyl,
Shilo

Artistic break

A few cell phone doodles

Spring calls

    Hi all, I know I am not very good at updating thus blog. I am more often than not caught up in the busyness of every day life. My son keeps me.quite busy, and I am often trying to squeeze more and more time in for friends and family to where I barely have time for a cup of tea. I do believe my work will eventually drive me mad. These past few weeks my hours keep getting cut, which wouldn't be as bad if I wasn't the main provider for my little family. Yes, I essentially rent from my mother in law, but it dependent on the utilities, which have been astronomically high these,past few months.

 The nice part is that Spring is now in the air, and I am no longer the cranky elven popsicle I tend to become, and remain all through out the winter. It also means that now is the perfect time to do some spring cleaning, both physically and spiritually. I know my personal energy signature needs a major overhaul, and I can't be half added about it if I want to regain any memories. The issue of updating my system goes doubly so after a friend pointed out that some of the lines where crudely done. Spaghetti code does not become any one's personal signature, especially when I travel in dream as often as I do, and mix KY energy with electronics. Comptability issues have been arising, so I figure it's time to update my system, and now that I think of it, catch up on networks and programming in general. Perhaps my next blog should be how I perceive and work with energy and divinity. In any it is late and I need to get sleep.

 Good night and Bbs.
 Shilo Greenwood