Babies and spring

It has been a bit since I dropped by to see you all. Spring cleaning and such, along with watching my son and nephew have kept me going. I do admit, that in anticipation for the final spring festival, Beltane, as we'll as the stress of life, I got a bit carried away at Walmart, but at least I have the candy and lights, yet hit spices to celebrate with. There is no way I am going to let my baby go another year without a good celebration.

I have also been busy cleansing my living space as I clean it. Yes, I spend time with family, but not having a space that is mine is frustrating. At the same time, I am renewing my studies of basic energy manipulation as we'll as spirituality, a spiritual.spring cleaning of a sorts.I began the new moon past, and intend to continue the studying and meditation rituals at least through the upcoming full moon. I am focusing both on retrieving memories reinvest lives, as we'll as improving focus and memory in this life. I have had some measure of success, mainly in the later goal, but it at least has me started on the right path. There is no point in wishing to be a good kitchen witch if you do nothing to become one.

As for past lives, though the progress I have made on that is scant, I have been feeling a bit more comfortable in my skin. I am more comfortable with my identity as elven Otherkin, as well as my life now. Taking this life as one of many learning experiences is getting easier, even if the lessons aren't. At least I no longer feel ugly as a get out, despite the fact it's been confirmed by many of my friends I look almost the same on physical as on astral. More on that at a later date, as I do believe my tiny tot charges may be up.

See you all about, and  Bb,
Shilo

Elven stereotypes and realitu

Hi all, again. I have had quite a hectic week, as I prepare for another work week of praying for enough hours to make ends meet and caring for my nephew on my time off as we'll as my son. It has been lovely having him here, as he is a good influence on my son, who is generally a very quiet boy. My sister in law, who I also consider to be a good friend has been helping quite a bit as we'll, which I greatly appreciate. Today as I came home from another banana run, as that is the fruit and snack of choice fire both babies, I got myself a 'pick me you'd of my favorite drink and protein bar. Perhaps it was a placebo effect, or I haven't been eating as well as I should, possibly both but it made me feel much more like my normal self.

The snack also made me wonder, as I am always trying to understand myself better, why an energy drink and protein bar, snack of gamers, would make me feel more like my normal elven self than virtually anything else I have done for the past few months. I know the typical stereotypes for my people, and that I simply am most of them (save issues with other races, I thankfully missed those) but the typical needling activities make me feel as in time with my nature as a walk outside. To me, as diverse as all of the races that are describes as elves are, we all share a particular intensity about what we care about.as we'll as a particular pride in our passions as we'll as our race. I know the simple fact that I am, or more exactly my soul is elven is something I  very proud of and I do my best to show even if I am the only one who knows. I am also deeply passionate about both the environment and learning, especially in the fields of technology and science. I am not necessarily as passionate about the applications as I am the theories, however that is simply my quirk coming through.

Where the stereo type comes in  is the idea that elves are only passionate about the environment and shun technology probably comes from the old fairy tales that star us. These forget that the elves in these tales are significantly older than their human counterparts, and have been living like this for their whole lives. Like humans in the stories, aa well as reality they are likely very happy with their lives and uninterested in changing at this point. Also with longer lives and fewer children, it is obvious that new ideas will be slower to be introduced as the next generation might also be uninterested in change, or simply not old enough to away popular opinion in their community.

Now for the reality. Even in human form, elves seem to retain their intensity and pride  but we have greatly diversified. There have always been subtle differences in what people specialized in, from my memories, and now with even more options, there is even more diversity in th elven community due to our intense passions and tendency to obsess. For myself, I am still concerned with how my actions are going to effect the planet I live on, but I am also deeply interested in the latest advances in technology, science and the gaming industry. As odd as it may seem, less other 'kin, elves have integrated we'll into this new world, and despite how anoying these stereo types are, perhaps it is a good thing they have lasted. After, it does keep the average elf under the radar so we can live relatively normal lives.

That's about it for now, see you all about.
Bb, Shilo.

Thoughts and memories

Hello all, again. I know it's been a while, but for some odd reason my work has been scheduling me for a lot of mornings. It's quite unusual, and only complicated by the fact that my husband should have (but has not) come home this week and my aunt is in the middle of her spring cleaning. Thank the gods, Stacy, my mother in law and my bff and my buddy/sis-in-law have been able to help watch Elladan while I am at work. It's always been a bit tricky, but life is like that and it's nice to know I've got some support here.

While I am not at work, cleaning, or doing one of the many other things that occupy my time, I do admit I have been trying to dredge up some memories of places I have been in past lives. I know a lot of people may wonder why I feel the need to, but to me, it's like having amnesia and just wishing I remembered where I have been. Any one who has had much contact with a lot of otherkin will know that memories are a sort of (or where, at one point in time at least) a 'holy grail', or ultimate goal to help us understand why we feel so out of place here. For many of us, especially myself, they give us a bit of security and a better way to understand how we might fit in here and now. Not all 'kin have memories, or even believe in past lives in any way, but it fits my world view and spirituality.

Personally, I consider myself an eclectic, lazier than I should be kitchen witch. I don't have a particular pantheon I follow, I simply haven't found a good fit. Also most of my searching has been put on hold due to raising the cutest ginger baby in my world (he's the only ginger in my world, but he's.what matters). My husband never seemed overly interested in searching with me, so it is just me around here, for now. I am sure my little Elladan is going to join me one day, in exploring. It will be interesting when that happens, and exciting. For me, being Otherkin, more specifically elven, is a major part of my search, as I am curious why I was born here and in this body. I suspect it was to learn, and grow, as there isn't a method to studying culture like living it. However I do miss being around others like me, and it's even nice if they are only acting. Such things make the renaissance festival in NC a major deal to me. People react differently to elves, weather they know it or not, and it's nice to not feel I am wearing a bad mask, if only for a day.

I suppose I might as well explain what being otherkin is to me. I doubt many people who read this blog are unfamiliar with the term, but so many people seem to use it to signify so many, often very different things. At it's core, otherkin is being human and something 'other'. There is no denying that this life I am human, it's the body I have and the society I live in. However, I believe in a soul, and that this soul can have traits about it that stay relatively stable. I say relatively because I do believe that souls can grow and change as they experience new lives and ideas, but usually stay fairly stable on things like 'species'/'race', 'gender' and such. To me, we are souls who are, in a sense, downloaded into a human/whatever body. It really just depends on what life we live. Most of us wouldn't have memories now, because they aren't needed and aren't strong enough. Either that, or we simply have forgotten them because it was so darn long ago and we have so much to do and learn in the here and now. However, some of us do remember past life memories, either because they are 'flashbulb memories', such as deaths or we are still very emotionally connected to those lives. Otherkin is a hard thing to describe.

I often feel it is one of those things that you have to experience to completely understand. To me, it is a feeling that I emigrated when I was very little. I free up in this culture, so it a mine, but at the same time I am just different. It could, and just might be the simple fact that I don't identify with my peers here that we'll. I don't reason the same way, or have the same sarcastic sense of humor. There are a myriad of tinny differences that are hard to describe, but easy to see, the same way it is hard to quantify beauty or intelligence. It makes a difference, but it's impossible, at least now, to explain exactly how and why. I explain it to myself as part of being Otherkin. It is part of being an elven soul in a human body, and is in no way an excuse or a crutch to use to not strive to be better, but an idea of how to start. Often the realizations are simply instinctual, but I have a few, and I mean very few memories. For me, past life memories are a bit of a comfort.

Comparing memories, and even meeting people I used to know is also a bit of a comfort, especially the friends and family I was close too. It is a reminder that I am not the only one out there. Things may have moved on, but having people to laugh with about all the crazy adventures is quite a bit of fun, as long as the past can't stay there.